So What If Valentine's Day is a Hallmark Holiday?

Flowers, Cards, and Chocolate are great, but celebrating Valentines Day can enhance a relationship in meaningful ways that will last a lifetime.

So What If Valentine's Day Is a Hallmark Holiday?

Written By: Ashley Zaborac M.A., L.C.P.C.

The controversy regarding the validity of Valentine's Day as a holiday is fairly common. Many believe it is a Hallmark holiday designed to increase revenue for card, candy, and flower companies. Others disregard it completely. While some go all out to celebrate the romantic occasion. The purpose of this is not to determine which side of the controversy is right and which is wrong. It may be true that Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday. It may be true that it is sappy and overrated. Regardless of how you view Valentine's Day, there are some benefits of giving in to celebrating this annual event.

1.) Any Excuse to make your relationship a priority will result in a healthier and happier relationship. Valentine's Day serves as a helpful reminder that your relationship should be a priority to you. You may not be the romantic type. You may not be the sappy card and gifts type. Yes, you should make your relationship a priority every day. Let's face it: many times the one we love does not take center stage. Use Valentine's Day as an opportunity to remind yourself and your partner that he or she is a priority to you.

2.) Valentine's Day also serves as a reminder to be intentional. After a couple of years in a relationship couples often tend to slack off and get comfortable. They think, "He/She knows how I feel about him/her," "The romantic stuff is only necessary in the beginning," or "We are in a place in our relationship that we don't need to celebrate all the holidays." These are all thoughts that can be problematic for your relationship. Never stop trying to impress or woo your partner. Valentine's Day is a great time to return to the days when it was important to be kind to each other and to value each other.

3.) Start the year off on a positive note. Fortunately, Valentine's Day is in the beginning of the year, providing the ideal opportunity to set the tone for the year ahead. Maybe the holiday stress or the relentless winter weather has taken a toll on your mood and your relationship. Valentine's Day is a much needed platform to turn the tides and set the tone for positive movement in your relationship.

4.) Remind yourself of the reasons you love your significant other. As relationships continue on throughout the years, it is easy to allow the daily annoyances to get in the way of focusing on the positive. Valentine's Day is a great time to embrace the positive in your partner and to show how much you appreciate him/her. The annoyances will probably always be there, but focusing on the positive is the key to reaping the benefits of long-lasting partnership. There is a reason you chose your partner. This Valentine's Day recommit to those reasons and accept your partner for all of his/her strengths and weaknesses.

5.) Reconnect and repair old wounds. Through the course of a relationship there are bound to be times of distance to some degree and some form of hurt exchanged. It is easy to get stuck in the rut of distance, and, while heavy, it becomes natural to carry the burden of hurt from day to day. Valentine's Day is perfect for rebuilding strong connections and letting go of past or current hurts.

6.) Start new traditions that infuse FUN into the relationship. This is two-fold. First, traditions give people something to look forward to from year to year. They are constants that become part of the identity of the relationship. The second part is FUN. Couples tend to forget how to have fun together. The hustle and bustle of daily living can make life routine, monotonous, and boring. Individuals change and evolve including their interests. There is a need to learn and re-learn each other regularly. Valentine's Day inspires fun and spontaneity. It could be going to a new restaurant, traveling to the city, a weekend getaway, or exploring a new activity. This Valentine's Day think outside of the box and surprise yourself and your partner with something new and exciting.

7.) Reflect on your relationship. Whether it is evaluating the last year or all of the previous years, Valentine's Day allows couples the forum to reflect on their history together. This includes the obstacles they have overcome, their firsts, their achievements, and the different phases of the relationship. Enduring relationships are major life achievements. Relationships are hard and take work. Valentine's Day is great time to step back and take in the view of all of your hard work and accomplishments!

8.) Set goals for your relationship. Valentine's Day is not only an ideal time to evaluate where you have been but also where you are going as a couple. It is important to consider where you would like to see your relationship go and how you can grow as a partner moving forward. "I want to be better at communicating effectively." "I want to spend more quality time together." "I want to spend less time on my phone or at work and more time with my significant other." "I want to travel together this year." Setting goals is a necessary element if facilitating forward movement and growth. It allows the opportunity to assess your own and your partner's hopes, desires, and needs.

Valentine's Day is not just about the red-heart and stuffed animal adorned shelves at your local grocery store. In fact, the most plentiful benefits of Valentine's Day do not come in the form of sparkling jewelry, elegantly crafted rose bouquets, or beautifully gift-wrapped chocolates. (All of which are great gestures!) Valentine's Day is a reminder of the importance of tending to and nurturing your relationship. It is about acknowledging and sustaining your relationship. So, returning to the initial question, what if Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday?